Three role mentalities in interpersonal communication
Interpersonal communication can be divided into three different mentalities, namely the parent mentality, the adult mentality and the child mentality.
There is such an example: three people did business in partnership and lost money in the end. A said, “I all blame you. There is no true ability. It is really bad luck to partner with you!
B said, “I think there are several reasons for this loss. The first is that the three of us didn’t have the same idea, and we didn’t make any efforts.
Second, there are also some objective strengths at work.
“C said,” It’s all my fault. I didn’t do a good job. Please forgive me, I will definitely make corrections, and everyone will go on.
“In this conversation, A accused two colleagues with an elder tone, and saw that it was a parental mentality; B was very calm, like a stable, rational person, and an adult mentality; C was like a child,I’ve done something wrong and begged everyone to forgive me.
In fact, each of us has these three character mentalities.
When we are in the mentality of parents, we have the idea of “what must be done” and “what should be done”.
Parents’ mentality is broadly divided into two types: one is characterized by being mean to others and likes to pick other people’s shortcomings, and the other is easy to show emotions to others.
A parent’s mentality is in some form and is obtained from his parents.
How parents loved us when we were young, we have a kind of parental mentality when we grow up.
In the adult state of mind, we are occasionally calm, rational, and objective. We are neither fussy nor impulsive. We are very opinionated, have a plan and do not panic.
When we are in the mentality of children, we act emotionally, we do not consider the consequences, and our emotions fluctuate and we are easily disturbed.
Almost everyone has these three mentalities in the process of dealing with people, but the proportions are different.
In life, we often meet some fixed-role players.
People who have been in a parent mentality for a long time like to criticize others or make suggestions to force you to accept, or they just like to oppose the lives of others and treat you like a child.
Of course, only those “lifelong children” can live with them for a long time.
“Lifetime children” are those who have been in children’s psychology for a long time. Even if they live to the age of 50 or 60, their speech, behavior, thoughts and behaviors are just like a child.
They are generally not opinionated. They often depend on others for everything, and often refuse to take responsibility. They are impulsive in doing things and need others to take care and care in their lives.
When dealing with people, they like to be noticeable and win something.
And people who have been in the adult mentality for a long time like purely logical thinking. They are very rational in doing things, rarely talk about feelings, and are often called by others?
They have very little humor in their lives, their time is well-organized, and getting along with them is very tedious.
From the above analysis, we are not serious that any kind of character mentality that develops the ego alone will unbalance the development of our character, which directly affects our interpersonal relationship is unharmonious.
So how do you adjust yourself to keep the three mentalities in your self in balance?
We must understand the proportion of our three role mentalities in interpersonal communication.
This requires you to record the mentality of your characters in your interactions with others within a week, and check them together. The proportion of the three mentalities will be very clear.
After knowing the proportions of the three mentalities, you can consciously reduce the mentality with the highest proportion in the interaction with people, and improve the other two mentalities.
If you find that you often use parent mentality to interact with people, you should pay attention to objective observation, learn to listen, less criticize, pick others, and take correct suggestions from others.
Make your life a little more casual and emotional, and you will definitely be happier.
If you are a very rational person, you’d better lower your adult mentality.
Try to relax yourself and allow your feelings to be properly vented.
I suggest you watch some comedies or jokes often and make yourself as a kid.
If you are often in the mentality of a child, then you should calmly analyze the situation and avoid emotional affairs; it is best to ask yourself “what do I want to do”, without having to take into account the preferences of others, so as not to lose yourself; it is best to train yourself,Everyone is responsible, not overly dependent on others.
In interpersonal communication, each of us should pay attention to what mentality we are in, and pay attention to the most appropriate role mentality to interact with people on different occasions.
I believe that you will have many friends and become a very popular person.